Mistakes were made by all

I am in Alaska again... by a series of unfortunate events...
I always thought I would be so happy to come home and live near my family again.  I. Was. Wrong.  I am anything but happy.  I don't say this to get pity, or to make people feel bad, I just say it because it is the truth.  The saying "you can't go home again" is so very painfully true.  It's never the same.  It's NEVER what you thought it would be.  Sometimes it's great to come home and hang out with all your old friends and have dinner with your parents and siblings and enjoy the warmth and love that envelopes you from the moment you get off the plane/out of your car - to the moment you get back on/in it.  When you have no idea when you are leaving neither does your family and friends.  Their patience runs thin, their hospitality runs low, and eventually you aren't the only one that is wondering when you are leaving.
This is where I am at right now.  Wondering when I am leaving.  My sheer presence creating a tension within the family that welcomed me so warmly 6 MONTHS AGO!!!
Yup.  6 Months.  6 months of not knowing what the hell I was doing. 6 months of being miserable, poor and, ugh, dependent. 6 months of having everyone look at me with pity, knowing that horrible thing that dragged me back here to this frozen land.  6 months of crying, crying and more crying.
Today I declare - I'm Done Crying!  I know what I want.  It's not what everyone else wants.  I don't think it's what ANYONE else wants.  Everyone keeps telling me to figure out what I want though, so I did.

My husband and I got married 3 months after my Mother died.  I second guessed our relationship from day one.  I talked with my mother a lot about it (before she died, or course).  She told me  - well, that's private, but she gave me the green light.  She said she could tell he made me happy, even though he made me crazy.  Everyone seemed to like him.  I thought to myself a thousand times how much easier a relationship was when your family liked the person you were with.  The kids liked him too, and he seemed to like them.  until...enter Sharon's BIG GIANT MOUTH!  Yeah, was never one for keeping things to myself (obviously - I have a blog!)...  I couldn't be like Bek and keep it all private.  I tried.  I told one person here, one person there, but eventually everyone knew about every fight we ever had.  I am a difficult person (I recently learned this) so we had A LOT of fights.  When everything started going to hell everyone decided to tell me "I never liked him anyways." Well, thanks!  That's helpful to know after I have already married him!  Jerks!  Not ONE single person told me to tough it out, grow up, it'll get better - except for, ironically, my EX-mother in law.   Weird huh?  Well, 7 years into it and 2 military moves and one beautiful baby girl (plus my 1st 2 kids) the unthinkable happened.  My husband made a HUGE mistake! I won't diminish what was done by saying anyone over-reacted, but I will say - it's not what everyone thinks.

It really isn't.  Accepting that has brought a bit of peace to my heart.

I am determined to not let this mistake define my children, my life, my marriage or myself.  I just won't.

I will continue to take care of my children to the best of my abilities, but I will not deny another one of my children a relationship with her father (not that I denied the other two of their father, but sometimes it does feel that way). I will protect my children with every breath in my body, and I will always choose their side.   My husband knows this now, and he has accepted this.

He is working very hard to understand his mistakes and he knows that it is a process.  It feels good knowing that he considers our marriage something worth working for.

I am still stuck in Alaska for an undetermined amount of time. I am still having constant arguments with my husband about the past, present and future.  I am still unsure of which direction to go in (other than south because it is just too cold up here for me anymore).  The thing that I know for sure though is that people make mistakes.  Only God can judge.

My advice to anyone reading this - beware who you vent to because things said cannot be unsaid. Once someone doesn't like your significant other it is very hard to convince them otherwise.  You may be able to forgive and move forward, but people that love you and were your sounding boards during those difficult times may not be able to.

Sweet Potato Banana Muffins - YUM!

Yummy Idea of the Week!

Sweet Potato Banana Muffins

*My photo* *recipe credit*

I don't remember the circumstance that caused me to do a Swagbucks Search for this recipe, but I am sure glad I did!  I just happen to have a few bananas in the freezer and some sweet potatoes in the garage that desperately needed to be used!  For the most part I followed the recipe exactly (I almost doubled it).  I did change a few of the steps though.  Jayne's original recipe is HERE.  Here's what I did though.

3 small over ripe bananas

3 small sweet poatotes

1 C shredded coconut (optional, but worth it)

3 C unbleached all purpose flour

1 1/2 T baking powder

1 tsp salt

1 tsp cinnamon

3/4 C Unsalted Butter (room temperature)

1 1/2 C Light Brown Sugar

3 eggs

1) Center rack in over & pre-heat to 400deg F.  Line or grease muffin tins. *original recipe makes 12-15 muffins, mine made 30*

2) wash & skin Sweet potatoes. Chop into 1-2" pieces & boil until mashable.  Reserve water when you drain them (good thing I did this because I messed up and needed it in the recipe!).  Mash by hand or toss into your blender/food processor/Ninja & get the job done!

***I took Jayne's advice and did these steps the night before and got out all the ingredients so I could make them in the morning - well, all except the pre-heating - that would be dangerous!***

3) Mash the banana, sweet potatoes & coconut together and set aside

4) In a medium bowl cream the butter and sugar until light & fluffy *this takes longer than you think*

5) Add in eggs One at a time and mix well. Mix in the banana mixture.

***ok, Here's where I messed up my recipe and that sweet potato water I reserved came in handy.  as I was adjusting the recipe I forgot to increase the eggs.  I only added 2.  It wasn't until I was putting it into the making cups that I realized that it was WAY TOO DRY!  I made my first batch with the mix as it was because I didn't want to over mix it & I hadn't realized my mistake yet. For the second batch  I grabbed the water and started adding it a tiny bit at a time until it looked like the right consistency.  The picture above is one from the first batch, the second batch was much smoother & lighter in color. Anyways - back to the instructions***

6) scrape wet ingredients into the dry and mix just until combined. Do Not Over mix. *But, they will still turn out okay in case you do*

7) Fill the muffin cups about 3/4 full.  *remember the bigger the muffin the longer it will take to bake*

8) Bake about 20 minutes until they are golden brown and spring back when touched.  *I found that after the first batch the rest only took about 15 - 18 minutes so keep an eye on them.

I made a little Honey Glaze to drizzle over them & they were amazing!  

I plated them and covered them with saran wrap (after they cooled of course) and after 3 days on the table they are still soft.  Bug likes to warm them up in the microwave for a few seconds, but the rest of us enjoy them as is.

I'd love to see if someone could do a recipe makeover on this though & maybe make them not quite so many calories.  I used the Sparkpeople recipe calculator and they are almost 180 calories per muffin.  Oh No!  But they are a yummy breakfast muffin for the kids to grab on the go!

Try & let me know what you think!

Gratitude

GRATITUDE

I haven't had much of it lately.  During this month where we are supposed to be giving thanks for everything and preparing for the birth or our savior I have been pretty ungrateful, unhappy, and worst of all, unloving.  To my many friends, family, children and myself.  

I had a long overdue chat with a friend tonight.  I had to do it over Facebook because I knew I didn't have the guts to hear what she had to say over the phone, or worse, to my face.  You see, she always gives it to me straight!  I have friends that will will let me vent and placate me with assuring words, some that only want to hear the good stuff, and very few that will give it to me straight & tell me to put my big girl panties on and get on with life.  Sometimes that's just what I need!  Unfortunately, that's NOT what I have been searching for.  I was searching for that quiet ear that would listen to my woes and be 100% on my side and tell me exactly what I needed to do and give me the means to execute their well thought out plans.  I forgot that the person I was searching for was always with me - listening to my woes - 100% on my side - giving me the means to execute His well thought out plans.  I just forgot.  GOD.

Anyways, My friend first told me that (basically) my pity party needed to end & I need to Dust myself off & move on.  She told me I needed to write down everything I am grateful for.  Yes, yes I do.  I didn't do it on Facebook while everyone else was.  I just couldn't think of 30 things to be grateful for and I am sure no one wanted to see "I am grateful for my children" 30 days in a row.  They were the only good things I could see in my life for quite a while (and some days even that was questionable).  I think I can do it now.

1) I am thankful for my children - even when they are being smart Alec troublemakers - they still make me smile.

2) I am very grateful for the military and all it provides.

3) I am thankful for the men & women that serve and protect us and our rights.

4) I am thankful for MAIL.  Seriously, send a letter, it will make someone smile!

5) I am grateful for a reliable vehicle that gets us where we need to be (usually 10 - 20 minutes early)

6) I am thankful for the many friends and acquaintances that get me.

7) I am thankful that my father is healthy.

8) I am grateful to my step-mother for her insurance that has covered most of my father's medical expenses

9) I am thankful for my brother who just wants to fix things for everyone

10) I am thankful for my sister who just wants everyone to be happy.

11) I am thankful for all the family angels in Heaven watching over us)

12) I am thankful for friends and family that honestly pray for us!

13) I am thankful for SAW's fierce feelings of protection  .

14) I am thankful for Bug's quiet observation and sense of knowing what needs to get done.

15) I am grateful for all of the talented musical artists that bless the world with their music and voices every day!  

**********Halfway done and I am losing steam, but I will make it!***************************

16) I am grateful to all the writers - everywhere - published or not.  Thank you for sharing.

17) I am grateful for all the other bloggers that teach me how to make pretty much everything from scratch.

18) I am grateful for technology that keeps me in constant contact with everyone (even if I don't want it).

19) I am grateful for my mother for all the things she taught me, and all the things she didn't.  Some things I just had to learn on my own!

20) I am grateful for my "other mother" for still always being being there for me.  She's been part of my life since I was 14, even when she may not have wanted to be!

21) I am thankful that Mike knows how to cook, even if he doesn't do it as much as he used to.

22) I am thankful for the beautiful warm sandy beaches of Florida - I will get back there someday!

23) I am thankful that MJ inherited her daddy's ability to make me laugh.

24) I am thankful that I am creative.

25) I am thankful that there is a free gym within walking distance of my house!

26) I am thankful for water in every form.

27) I am grateful for my first amendment right to free speech.

28) I am thankful for my bed, my cozy blankets, my pillows, and a good book that can help me forget about the days troubles.

29) I am thankful for my Nook!

30) I am thankful for my ability to choose EVERYTHING!

Happy November everyone!

Christmas Crafting

Christmas Crafting Has Begun!!!

We save our egg cartons for friends with chickens but the pile was getting really BIG!  I had to do something with them!!  I had bug search for a Christmas craft online, but I wasn't excited about any of them.  I knew I wanted to have MJ make a Christmas tree, I just had to figure out how.  

We got out the egg cartons and started cutting while Bug got out the paints. I started stacking and figured it all out & then the girls started painting.

You can barely see the result in the picture, but trust me - it's cute!  When Dad is distracted with a new game don't ask him to take a picture of the the baby and her tree!

In the midst of trying to figure out how to stack the pieces I discovered that we had no glue!  UGH!!!

Internet to the rescue once again!  I found a great recipe for toddler safe home made glue!  This saved the day!!  I even added a bit of green food coloring since I know we will be using it mostly for Christmas Crafts!  The result was fabulous!

My Thanksgiving Menu

My Thanksgiving Menu

We decided to stay home this year and not visit family for Thanksgiving.  Good thing because we are completely flat broke!  My original idea was to buy a lasagna and have an Italian dinner, but on pay day when I went grocery shopping I was not even thinking that Thanksgiving was mere days away!  So Monday I realized - OMG Thanksgiving is THURSDAY!!!  We are broke - I had not done ANY holiday meal planning and the cupboards (yes, only days after payday) were practically bare!  Ok, not really, but when you are thinking in terms of a holiday meal - they definitely looked that way.  Ok, so back to my original plan of making Thanksgiving NO BIG DEAL.

Bug was very disappointed to hear that we were not going to have a traditional Turkey day.  It was very hard to look at her and NOT give in.  So then I started planning.  Thank GOD for the Internet or I never would have figured out that I have everything I need in order to make a pretty good holiday meal - everything but the main dish!  No turkey is not a big issue in our house since Mike doesn't like turkey and SAW prefers ham, but with $3 in the account there was no way I was going to swing it.  Luckily on our most recent trip to see Mike's parents they gave us some deer steaks - so we were good.  I also managed to be in the right place at the right time and got a free turkey!  Woo Hoo!!!  So now we have the fixings for a real holiday to be thankful for!

Of course the most important thing (when your family doesn't like turkey) is the PIE!!!  Luckily I stocked up on pumpkin so I knew we were covered there!  The last time i made a pumpkin pie (2 weeks ago for pie Sunday) I used the Libby's recipe on the can of pumpkin and a refrigerated Pilsbury pie crust.  I was very disappointed!  For such well known companies I was expecting them to be fabulous, but they were very bland!  Ugh!  So, I had to find a new recipe! Once I found that Everything else came along nicely!

Milkless Pumpkin Pie with The Pie Man's Perfectly Flaky Crust

Dinner Rolls (they are actually Hamburger Buns, but they are soooo good!!!

Macaroni & Cheese with Cauliflower

Dutch Beets (because I have tons of canned beets!)

Mashed potatoes (one of the benefits of living in Idaho - we always have tons of potatoes!)

My macaroni Salad

All this and a couple deer steaks for Mike and Turkey for us.  I am still searching for a good stuffing recipe  and I may add a few things just for snacking throughout the day (like deviled eggs or something).

Hope you all have a great day!

ps - thanks to all the great bloggers and chefs and bakers our there that shared their recipes!

Under Construction

Please forgive me for the mess

I am in process of de-cluttering my life and am recreating my blog here.

I'm sure I will have exciting things to say sometimes soon.

Feel free to follow my very disorganized and depressed thoughts on twitter.

Love to all!

Sharon

DisOrganized thoughts

Are my thoughts ever organized??

Are my posts ever organized??

I bet an editor would rip out their hair trying to fix my writing so that people could actually read it!  Ugh. I have given up trying to make my Blog something that reaches millions though.  My mere 27 followers are okay for me.  I won't deny a little twinge of jealousy at the numbers my sister's blog has, but let's face it - hers is beautiful  she writes so that you WANT to keep reading!  I am happy if even I can reach the end of my own writing and still be happy about it...

So anyways...

I am pet sitting a friends cat for the next couple months.  She is very different from Mew (who escaped and went missing a few weeks ago).  She is very very vocal, and very - uhhhh - needy.  She likes to wake me up my sitting on my head, she likes to sit on the keyboard while I am typing as well.  She will head butt you when she wants attention and you aren't giving it to her.  Very Very different from Mew!  It's fun to have a cat back in the house, though.  Although, I did notice that she has affected my allergies quite a bit.  Next week I am pet sitting my neighbors dog too, so we will see how that goes!

So this was totally not what I had in mind when I sat down to blog today, but I have lost that thought during the battle for my keyboard.

Maybe next time.

Happy Birthday Julia!!!

Happy Birthday Julia!!!

Today is my friend's birthday.  She's the same age as I am (so no need to mention any numbers, although she's so cool she probably wouldn't even care). 

Julia has been my friend for over 20 years.  She has awesome parents, and cool sister and a very spirited brother (just like me!).

Julia's request this year was that instead of everyone posting birthday wishes on her FB wall we all choose a word that describes her & Take a picture holding a sign with that word *or* acting that word out.

I think that's a fabulous idea!!  I see many many people stealing it and using it from now on! 

I immediately knew what word I wanted to use.

OPEN

Julia has always led a very open life.  She has always been a very open person.  Of course she went through her moody teenage years like the rest of us, but she maintained her openness throughout that phase. 

She is a smart, helpful, loving mother as well. 

She is doing something similar to this for her son's birthday coming up this month.  We are all sending Postcards to him and she will put them together in a book for him to treasure always.  Isn't that an awesome idea??

Anyways.  I admire Julia and her very open life.  She never shuns anyone that questions her and she remains calm (for the most part) and gives people the chance to expand their understanding of the world through her. 

I wish that we could have remained closer friends since high school, but, alas - life happens.

So, for now, I can only offer this.

My picture of her unique openness outside in the windy rain

(which MJ had to get into at the last minute).

My family is OK!

There is nothing wrong with my family.  OK, maybe we are all a little grouchy, edgy, short with each other.  Maybe we are all on our own paths of destruction.  We are good people though.  If you ask us for help - we will help you.  We don't expect you to pay us or repay the favor at all.  It is always a nice surprise when people do though.
When I get angry though is when someone asks for help, and I offer it freely and willingly and it gets turned down.  Why is my family not good enough to help you when you obviously need it ( or you wouldn't have asked to begin with).
I get especially angry when I feel like this is a personal attack (for lack of a better word at the moment) against one of my children.  Yes, my son is going through some shit right now because of a poor decision he made, but that doesn't mean he is a worthless lump.  It doesn't mean that he doesn't know how to work hard!

Here's where I get mad and call people out.  Read on if you dare!

A family member (Mike's family) posted on FB that they needed some help.  They even said they would pay (and SAW could really use the money!!!).  I called and offered SAW's help.  They "hmmmm"'d and "uh, well"'d and finally said "no thanks" on the premise that it would be too hard for SAW and that Mike wouldn't be there to supervise him.

 Are you F'ing serious???  What's so special about your damn HAY that he can't help you with it???

Here's where I take a page from Big Brother Ken's book and decide to NOT offer to help them again.  If one of us isn't good enough then none of us are.  And -  I kinda hope that no one else offered to help and that karma kicks them in the butt for this.

I am often amazed at peoples prejudices.

Baking, Remembering, Feeling Blessed

Baking, Remembering & Feeling Blessed

Today I Yesterday I quit my job.  I had only worked there for 3 days, and I gave no notice what-so-ever. I feel it was a good decision though.  I was nervous yesterday when I was writing my resignation letter and washing my uniform so I could turn it in.  I procrastinated so long that when I finally went to turn everything in - they were closed!  Luckily Someone was still there and I turned everything in.  I felt a great peace as I drove home.  Of course I was nervous again this morning when I realized that I forgot to charge my phone (on the only charger that I could find that would charge my phone, I just forgot to turn the switch on for that outlet!).  I just don't want them to think that I am childishly ignoring their calls (like I do to everyone else).  I got over it though when I realized that I had a beautiful rainy fall day to spend with 2 of my children.
      So, I decided MJ decided that we needed to make some cookies this morning!  I knew the perfect recipe to try out too!  A fabulous Toll House recipe on the back of the white chocolate chips I bought for a very specific reason (NOT the cookies I was about to make, of course).  So we got out all the ingredients and pushed MJ's chair up to the counter so she could help.  I was repeatedly amazed at what she knew/remembered from watching me (and Bug) in the kitchen.  She helped me with the flour - and knew what it was!!  She knew the brown sugar goes in her oatmeal, and knew there was four, butter, and sugar that goes in the cookies.  She was very excited about mixing!  She was even more excited when we put the white chocolate chips in the mix and she got to sneak a few chips without getting in trouble.  A friend of mine from Florida always posts about baking with her daughter and I always wished MJ was old enough to do that with me.  She finally is! 
     I was also thinking about baking with my mom.  My mom stayed at home and worked with the family business (from home).  It was a rare occasion that I actually got to see or help her bake.  Everything was usually done while we were at school.  I was a very lucky & spoiled child.  Now days we always talk about how spoiled our own children are with their cell phones and iPods and game systems.  I think, though, that we are the lucky ones.  I remembered the kitchen table being covered in tin foil for the cookies to be cooled on. I have a cooling rack with 2 shelves.  My grandmother mixed everything by hand.  We now have hand mixers & stand mixers (although Bug and I really do prefer to mix everything by hand).  When I am done baking I throw everything into the dishwasher, not the case for my mother.  Not only did I grow up spoiled and lucky, but I still am.
     I really do feel blessed today to be able to spend time baking with my girls and helping SAW with his homework.  I am glad that I have the option to stay home with them like my mother did.
    

Making it at Home

Yet another blog post about trying to make it to the end of the month and still have food left over...

A lot has happened already this month.  I've been keeping busy, and staying stressed out as well. But that's another story. OK, not really another story, pretty much the same story that repeats every month or so...

Anyways...

Yesterday I actually started thinking about dinner BEFORE it was dinner time!  I knew I had a head of cauliflower that had to be used up, and a pound of ground beef that I thawed out.  I had to find a way to make the cauliflower so that everyone would eat it, not just me & Bug.  My original idea was from a recipe for mac n cheese with cauliflower.  Personally, I think it sounds great, but I doubted that Mike would eat it.  Then I found a recipe for Cheese sauce from scratch in this awesome cookbook I checked out from the library.  Who knew?  OK, I guess it is kind of common sense, but still... I had no idea!  So Cheesy Cauliflower it is!  I also made a meatloaf to go with that.  UGH. It was by far the WORST meatloaf I have EVER made!  I love meatloaf.  I would make it every day if I could.  I just learned yesterday that my husband DOESN'T like meatloaf! (I find myself wondering, often, what planet he is from!)  I told him he would need a lot of ketchup with it because it wasn't very good.  "All meatloaf tastes like shit.  I don't know why you thought this would be any different."  Harsh, yes, but I know that he wasn't putting MY cooking down, just meatloaf as a dish in itself.  As long as I have the time and the ingredients I will continue to make meatloaf though!  So, if anyone has a good tried and true recipe for meatloaf I would LOVE to try it!

Today is a nice brisk fall day.  It's the perfect day for soup!  I don't have any pasta of any kind (and am not in the mood to make it myself) so I had to get creative again.  I had frozen broccoli, leftover cheese sauce from last night, & onions... Creamy Broccoli & Cheese soup!!  I started out with this recipe and went from there.
I didn't have Velveeta, so I used the left over cheese sauce from last night, and I tossed in the teeny tiny bit of leftover cauliflower from last night too.  I put in the nutmeg that it calls for, but next time I will not!  We did not like the taste of the nutmeg in the soup.  We also had to add a lot of salt 1) to overcome the taste of the nutmeg, and 2) because my cheese sauce was not salty at all and Velveeta IS.  I will definitely chop the onions smaller next time, and use more milk!  The way it is written it would definitely NOT feed my family of 5, but with a little extra milk/water it was great for the 3 of use that were here for lunch!  I know a recipe is a keeper when SAW goes back for seconds!!!

What have you been making for dinner lately??

LIFE

I've been having a rough time with life lately... I am overwhelmed.
All this crap we are going through with the court systems is just grating on my nerves.  I hate it every time my phone rings because it is either a)someone wanting money I don't have or b)something about the court case. OK,  maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration - My Dad called & talked to me for 1.5 minutes the other day and I missed 2 phone calls from Kathy, but other than that - it is either a or b.
I am feeling super whiny, but also feeling justified in my whininess.
I really need a job.  I think I might feel a bit better about myself if I had a job and a way to help fix this situation instead of just sitting here like a lump.  A big overweight lump....

Meal planning

I am - yet again - trying to make a meal plan for the week.  Thanks to Pinterest it seems a lot easier than before!  People have posted such great recipes to try!  I have posted a ton of them to my board here.  I have even made a few of them! LOL!  Anyways, I digress, I am trying it one more time because once again - we are broke!  No news flash there, but still....

So far I know what I am doing today, tomorrow and the next day.  I have the ingredients for all three dinners (why would I bother planning breakfasts and lunches when we all eat at different times?).  Now I am stumped!

Enter Facebook.

I have searched for a few groups to join for meal planning and freezer meals in hopes for inspiration.  I also posted in a few of my mom groups.  I am sure that some of my friends will come to my rescue!

So wish me luck and feel free to email me some tasty recipes (cheap - no chicken - tasty recipes!).

At the end of the week I hope to (remember to) post my menu and recipes and maybe even a few pictures.
Check later!

Sweet tea Addicts

When we lived in Florida we discovered that Northern Sweet Tea is NOT the same as Southern Sweet Tea.  My family quickly became addicted to Sweet tea.  It got even worse when we discovered a little place in Fort Walton Beach called Yardbirds.  Not only did they have AMAZING chicken, but their sweet tea was so good we bought it by the gallon!  When we moved up to Idaho we realized that we would never be able to find tea as good as Yardbirds.  I was on a mission.  I HAD to find a recipe that was good enough for my family!  I tried and tried.  I tested all kinds of recipes.  I went through A LOT of tea.  I even tried different kinds of tea bags, sugar and water!
I finally found it!  The recipe of a lifetime! My family loves it & I now make it by the gallon - almost every single day!
I have to say though that when I first read that the water is the most important key to goo southern sweet tea I laughed, but I tried it anyways.  Yup, filtered water makes better tea.  A lot of people swear by spring water, but our filtered water from the fridge and the spring water from the store made the same tasting tea.
Sooooo....Here it is - you MUST try it!

First - get 1 gallon of your best water. 
**Boil 2cups of that water and 2cups of sugar and stir until the sugar is dissolved & remove from heat and set aside.
**Get 8 regular size Black tea bags, or 4 family size (Luzianne makes the best, but I am currently using a generic black tea and my family didn't notice a difference) put them in a large pot but tie them off to the handle or something so they don't touch the bottom.  Pour the rest of your water over them.
**Bring tea to a simmer (DO NOT BOIL) for 5 minutes.
**Remove from heat & cover & let steep for 20to 25 minutes until you get a nice dark color.
Meanwhile - I stir in my secret ingredient to the 2 cups of sugar water - 2 to 3 tablespoons of honey.  Stir until it's all dissolved.
**Pour you sugar water into your gallon container, then pour your tea over.  Give it a good shake and put in the refrigerator until you just can't stand it anymore.
Fill your glass with crushed ice and pour your tea over it & enjoy!

It looks like I may have to start making 2 gallons because I just went to get some for myself and its ALL GONE!!! Be aware, you may be creating a habit you can't break!

Yard sales and unfriendly neighbors

We are finally having our yard sale (OK, it's a driveway sale - but you know what I mean!)!  I have been planning it for months!  I posted on all my groups & FB pages.  I invited everyone I know to bring stuff and yard sale with me.  I cleaned everything & priced everything too!  Here I sit, all by myself (except for the moments that SAW sticks his head out the door to check on stuff & when MJ sits out here with me). So far, as of lunchtime on day 2, I have made about $30.  Not the big haul I was hoping for!  But, basically it's free money, so I know I shouldn't complain.  I was really hoping to not have to haul all this stuff back into the garage and find storage space for it AGAIN!  Yes, some of it will be going to the Airman's Attic, but some of this I know is worth some money and I am holding out hope that someone else will want it!  We have had a lot of drivebys (you know, when they just stop at the end of the driveway and look out the window but never get out of the car).  Personally, drivebys are the worst!  I mean, doesn't my stuff warrant more than a glance out the window?  I have one large table that is very crowded & there's no way that from the driveway you can see what's on it! 
Enough complaining about that... I've got bigger things to complain about today!
We were so freaking excited when we saw that someone was finally moving into the house next door!  the day their moving van showed up I rushed into the kitchen and baked them a loaf or apricot coffee cake and packaged it up with some of the apricot syrup I made to drizzle over the top.  SAW and I knocked on the door & handed over the "Welcome to the neighborhood!" gift!  We quickly introduced ourselves and let them get back to their moving in!  We had high hopes that we were going to become great friends with our new neighbors.  They also have kids SAW and Bugs ages so that made everyone happy!  They have a dog also, that made our dogs pretty happy.  Happy enough that Bloo decided she needed to hang out ON TOP of the fence and chat with them, and Gizmo decided that he needed to dig under the fence and go play!  The day he had to come knock on our door to come get the dog out of his yard was a very unfriendly day!  I apologized profusely and told him that we were working on it (we didn't have neighbors when we brought the dogs home so this was new for them).  A couple days later gizmo was over there again...  It hasn't happened since then,they also have not spoken to us since then.  We smile and wave and say hi every time we see them outside (I mean, how can we not - we share a garage wall and a driveway so we see them a lot!).  They never respond.  Ever. Not even a wave or a nod.  Except for their teenage girl (who was very interested in SAW the first day they moved in), but even she only smiles and nods after she is in her car & driving out!  WTF?? (BTW - according to Bug that means "Well that's Fantastic!")  My hopes and dreams of being friends with our neighbors is crushed.  I feel horribly guilty about it too.  I am also a bit perturbed though, the reason the dogs stopped trying to say hi to them is because they only go outside a couple times a day now and someone has to sit and "supervise" the whole 5 minutes.  My dogs LIKE to be outside.  Gizmo would stay out there all day if he could just lounging in the shade on his blanket.  But, we just can't risk the chance of them trying to go over/under the fence again.  It's sad.  The only upside of that (for the dogs) is that we take them to the dog park A LOT now!  Almost every night.  They get to run and play with other dogs and we get to sit in the shade and chat with friendly dog owners that tell us stories about their awesome neighbors!  UGH!


So do you guys have good neighbors?  What is the deciding factor that makes a neighbor good/bad?  

Self Esteem Playlist

I was reading on Cafemom about a Self Esteem playlist that someone created.  I started thinking that it's a great idea!  I have playlists for when I'm having a bad day, when I'm sad or angry, but I can always use more music!  We all can, right?
So Now I'm thinking about what songs would be on my playlist to boost me up and what would my number one song be?
This might take me a bit to figure out and gather up all the music, so until then - tell me what your #1 song would be?

I was never a cat person...

until I met this guy...

This is Mew.

I always hated cats.  I became allergic to cats at around 13/14.  My sister and father are allergic also.  Even my daughter is allergic.  My mother always said that one never owns a cat - the cat owns you.  Why would I want an animal to run my life?

SAW loves cats!  Bug does too, but she has a hard time with them (she's the allergic one).  I always told my kids that if we ever found a cat that I wasn't allergic to then I would get it for them - no questions asked.  Who knew that would ever happen???

On a trip up to   down to visit Mike's family .... wait... nope, this was the trip where he wrecked the car and I had to drive 4 hours to go pick him up!  Anyways, I decided I would play with some cats.  I had heard that a friend of his had a bunch of kittens running around their house and that if I could catch one I could keep it.  So, temporarily forgetting my allergies we went off in search of a kitten.  We only saw one while we were there, and there was no way we were ever going to catch it, so we went back to his parents house.

Mike was working on something and I was playing with the multitude of cats running around their place. (His Dad had also told me that if I found one I liked then I could keep it, but, of course, we all knew which cats were Dad's & there was no way I would take one of them!).  This guy came right up to me and started purring and rubbing his head on my leg.  I scooped him up & he nuzzled right into me.  He had an injured front paw so I imagine he was glad to be off from it.  I tried to sit down with him, but when I say down and set him in my lap he jumped and took off.  His paw must have hurt badly though because he did not get very far.  He went straight over to the lawn chair and curled up.  I knew I was taking this cat home!  I double checked with Mike's parents and his mom said to go ahead and take him.  I double checked with Mike and he said yes too.  So I loaded up the cat and we drove home.

A 4 hour drive with a cat on my lap ( a very nervous cat ) and I didn't sneeze once!  No puffy red eyes, no itching whatsoever!  It was amazing.

MJ named him Mew.  SAW called him Toby.  He answered to everything!  He tolerated the dogs we fostered too!  He was even litter box trained!  Oh, and he was neutered!  He was IS amazing!

I am also convinced he is either magic or some sort of secret agent like Perry from Phineas & Ferb!  He is always disappearing and then when we open the front door he comes strolling in.  Just about 45 minutes ago Bug brought him downstairs and he sat down on the couch.  Then Mike was leaving for work and opened the door and there he was!  We don't have any pet doors, and the garage door isn't open.  There is no reasonable way he could have gotten out there.

This cat is amazing!

Napping

Sweet Walnut Scones

Sweet Walnut Scones

(adapted from Cooks.com)



3 1/2 C Unbleached all purpose flour
5 tsp. double acting baking powder
1 tsp. salt
Sugar (I used light brown sugar)
1/2 C butter

1/4 C Crisco (regular or butter flavored)
4 eggs
1/2 C milk
1 T maple or maple flavor syrup
1/2 C walnuts, finely chopped



1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  In medium bowl with fork, mix flour, baking powder, salt, and 2 tablespoons sugar. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

2. In small bowl with fork, beat eggs. Reserve 2 tablespoons beaten egg for brushing on scones later. Mix in milk & maple syrup into remaining beaten eggs. Stir egg mixture into flour mixture just until ingredients are blended. (MJ had a blast helping stir!)  Then mix with hands *squishy squishy* until all flour is incorporated.

3. Turn dough onto lightly floured surface and shape into a disk.  Place onto round stoneware (or lightly greased cookie sheet) I cut mine into 10 pieces (like a pizza), but you can cut yours to whatever size suits your needs.

4. In a small bowl stir walnuts and 2 teaspoons of sugar (MJ and Bug chopped the walnut with the Ninja Blender and then mixed in the sugar.  MJ loves to push the button!) With a pastry brush, brush tops of scones with reserved beaten egg; sprinkle with walnut mixture. (I am not fortunate enough to have a pastry brush right now so I just used the back of a spoon.  Worked just fine! I also smoothed out the Walnut mixture and patted it into/onto the tops of the scones.) 

Bake scones 12-15 minutes until golden. Serve warm.

If you bake them ahead of time you can heat them back up by wrapping them individually in foil and putting them in the over @ 425 for 10 minutes.   I like to put mine in an airtight container and munch on them hot/warm/cold all day long.  The original recipe says that it will make 30 scones.  those must be pretty small scones.  The walnut mixture makes a nice crust on top and the maple syrup adds just a hint of sweetness.

What the family thinks:

MJ had hers with a little tea - she liked  dipping it (maybe I should try to make her some biscotti).  Bug likes everything warmed up & asked for 2nds so I am sure she likes them.  

 SAW is slowly savoring his (because he knows he can't devour the entire pan in one sitting), but assures me that they are good despite their minimal flavor (he wants more sugar in them next time).

I love the crunchy crust of the walnuts and the light sweetness.  The Crisco made them have nice flaky layers without ruining the density & texture that a scone usually has. 

Mike is sleeping (night shift again) so he hasn't had one yet, but it has all the elements he loves so I am sure they will be a hit with him as well.

All in all I think it was a great recipe.  Next time though I think I'd like a few walnuts mixed in to the scone.  We will see!

Using up the last of it!

In general I like to use things up.  I know that's an odd statement but it's true. Like when I use a pencil or crayon down to the last possible nub, or use up all the ink in a pen (before I lose it).  It's an oddly satisfying feeling.  I like to use up every last drop of toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner.  Everything!  I like to know I am not being wasteful.
Oddly enough, though, I never really felt that way about food.  I mean, when you use up the last slice of cheese in the middle of making grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner that's defnintely NOT satifying!  Or the last drop of milk before everyone has had their cereal.  UGH!
Today was different though.
First I haveto rewind a little though...
Two weeks ago (last paycheck)...
Bug and I went grocery shopping, list & coupons in hand.  We knew our budget ($250 this check, which was a big deal because we have been keeping it under $200 for the last month).  With such a "big" budget I was planning on getting some snacking foods.  A luxury that we don't often enjoy.  I started out doing very good at keeping track of my total and watching for good deals (with or without coupons).  Slowly, as I weaved up and down the aisles, I began to resent the budget I was given.  I was angry and resenting a lot of things.  I stopped keeping track of my total.  I was feeling a little ... who knows, but the point is that I stopped keeping track.  I had a rough idea, I was still watching prices. I gave up the yummy tasty $5 box of cereal for the less yummy less tasty $2 box of cereal, even Bug knew that was the right choice!  I felt like I was within my budget, and I thought that with all my awesome coupons I would actually be under budget so I could maybe sneak in a few other things at a different store.  At the check out I am normally nervous.  I try to watch to make sure things ring up correctly and to make sure that I am on target for the right total.  This time, though, I was dreading that total!  My resentment had given way to guilt.  I should not have gotten so many cans of nuts (especially after learning that one of my precious planters coupons had *gasp* expired!),but I felt a little embarrassed that they might know we are poor and on a tight budget if I put them back. Hello, Sharon!  You are shopping with extreme couponer coupons, they already know you are on a tight budget!  So I watched my total climb.  I listened to the cashier call over a manager about one of my coupons (ladies, if you ever receive a "mystery savings" coupon be prepared for a lengthy discussion at the check out over whether it's valid or not before they even try it, and then another one after they scan it and see the amount!).  I felt my blood pressure rise and my face flush.  Finally, I was done!  There was my total - in BIG BOLD numbers for all to see - $262!!!  aaaccckkkk!!!
Needless to say, we ran out "real" food pretty quickly, and the snack food barely lasted a few days. And, did I mention that I did NOT buy ANY meat on this grocery trip???  Not my proudest moment!
It was time to get creative.  This past week we have had a lot of rament noodles.  A lot of stir fry (with ramen noodles or rice). A lot of torillas (homamade) with sugar & cinnamon.  A lot of soup. A lot of oatmeal (with jelly, or peanut butter, or nutella, or whatever makes it so MJ will eat it).
Last night I made amazing refried beans and tortillas.  I started the beans at about 10am (after soaking overnight of course).  It was sooooo hard not to eat them all before dinner.  Everyone was so excited about them that we made the tortillas early and had an early dinner!  The downside to that it that we were hungry again by bedtime, but it was okay!  They were Amazing!!
So, that leads me back to my story of using things up today. 
Today I made Sweet Walnut scones.  I used the very last bit of flour, all the rest of the eggs, and the butter too!  Anyone that knows me knows that these are the three things I HATE running out of most!  Today though, I had a different feeling.  I was pleased.  I had that satisfying feeling when I threw away the flour bag and the egg shells and butter wrapper.
I was proud of myself for providing for my family even after frivolously spending our budget.  We made it - right up to the last day!

Birthdays

MJ is going to turn 2 in a few days!  I'm honestly amazed we've made it this far!  Having a baby in your 30's is tough.It's exhausting, trying, scary and yet joyous.
I feel like I am cheating her on her party though.  I was going to try to plan a big party, but, as always, funds are low.  We still haven't ordered a cake yet.  Yeah, I could make one, but I really don't feel like being disappointed.  We really don't know a lot of people here with little ones, so there's not a huge need for a ton of money to be spent on goodie bags.  I'd still like the few kids that are coming to leave with a little something though.  MJ loves rubber duckies so I ordered some adorable rubber duckie soaps from Etsy.  I wanted to buy a bunch of ducks too, but I procrastinated and times and money ran out.  Pay day is the day of her party so we will be running around like crazy that morning to get everything!  I found some cute printables and decorations I can do ahead of time on Pinterest though, so that'll be great!  I think it will end up being a good day!

My birthday is coming up also.  I have always gotten my hopes up and been super excited about my birthday.  ALWAYS!! But, I find myself a little deflated on the actual day.  I have also learned that birthdays - no matter whose - are for kids.  My kids are more excited about my birthday than I am.  This year, I am determined to not get all pumped up for it.  Whatever will be will be.  I actually already have a plan to volunteer that day at our base library with the reading program.  We will be making and decorating birdhouses that day.  I think it will be a fun way to spend the afternoon. 

I am also planning a few birthday rituals for MJ and myself to leave the negatives of this past year behind us and welcome growth and happiness into our life in the next year. ( I have been researching some of my eclectic pagan-ness and found a few things like this I'd like to incorporate in to our lives. More on that later)

Do you do anything "different" for birthdays in your family?