I did it!

I am thinking that these new changes I am making needs a name...  I think - maybe -

"Positive Changes, One Day at a Time"

 So what - this is day 2?  I think so...

I think that taking this SAHM thing one day at a time and just trying to make the best of it will work for me.  And I'm not talking HUGE changes, so don't expect fireworks here, okay?  I'm talking about the small changes that will one day make up a HUGE Positive Change in my life.  I'm not setting any long term goals here.  I'm not giving myself any consequences either, and my only rewards are feeling better about myself and my life.

So anyways

I did it!!!

Last night, after the kids went to bed, I cleaned up the living room AND did the dishes (dishwasher and the hand wash dishes!).  I didn't vacuum the LR because 1) the vacuum was upstairs, 2) I didn't want to wake the baby because she was put to bed at 9pm and only cried for a minute!!!  Woo Hoo!!

It was all I could do not to come post this last night! I was really proud of myself!

There is one thing that I will have to fix about it though - no doing dishes in my jammies - my shirt got wet...

It did make the morning go a little smoother too!

Oh yeah, I did manage to get out of bed before the kids left for school too!  I was even able to get them to help with a couple chores before they left for the bus!

I had a little time to myself this morning before I woke May up at 8:15!  It was marvelous!

So, I will let the day go as it will.  I might bake, but probably not (I'm out of butter).  I will see hoe today goes and decide on my next positive change later.

Feel free to shoot me some ideas on making this SAHM thing go a little easier! 

Getting the hang of it

Since my last post I have had even MORE time to think...
Now that I have voiced my unhappiness about my less-than-stellar performance as a SAHM I have decided to try harder.  I mean, really, was I trying that hard to begin with? No!  Not really.
So I put my big girl panties on and got out of bed the next day and did the dishes.  Yesterday I did the dishes, baked cookies, played with my daughter and even made the bigger kids an after-school snack.  (OK - so not really, I made tuna & juice so they could have a sandwich and a drink with their cookies, but that's WAY more than I did before)
Today I actually woke up before the kids left for school, I didn't get out of bed, but I was up and said goodbye to them before they left.  Actually getting out of bed before them is tomorrows task!  I was, however, out of bed and making coffee and doing the dishes before Mike got home from PT.  I think he did a double take when he saw me.
I talked to my sister today too (during nap time).  She has obviously read my post because the first thing she asked was "you're bored aren't you?" *shoulder slump* "Yes. Yes I am."  Jealousy of her full house struck when I heard my Dad and Aunt and Uncle all talking in the background.  She assured me that it was okay to be on Pinterest & Facebook during nap time.  It is MY TIME.  We talked about cleaning schedules (I used to clean up during nap time, but she pointed out that she cleaned up before her husband got home from work because it was only going to get dirty again after nap). I think I am going to clean up when the bigger kids get home from school (which is about 30 minutes before Mike gets home from work - I found out he does not, in fact, get off work at 3 anymore, it's now 4), and again after everyone goes to bed.  It seems logical that waking up to a clean house would make the morning go smoother.  So that is tonight's trial task - to clean up the living room before I go to bed.  Wish me luck!
Today I also discovered that my son has been hoarding/hiding a childhood blanket since we moved from our one room cabin in AK.  I had no idea he still had it (that reminds me that I have to get it out of the dryer and up to the sewing table to mend a few tears).  The reason I mention this is because he has an issue with blankets and how I tend to get rid of them... it really is a short story for another time though.
I also discovered a fabulous recipe for a peanut butter cake. YUM!!!  I'll post about that later after I get the kids reviews!
So the recap for today's thoughts

• OMG - it's 645 - the kids really need to get a move on before they miss the bus and I have to get out of bed
• OMG -the dogs better shut the heck up before they wake up the baby and I have to get out of bed
• OMG - since the baby isn't up yet and the kids are gone I can  go downstairs and use the big computer instead of my phone - I mean, really, I'm not going back to sleep with those dogs whining like that
• OMG - she's already up!  I really thought I had at least 20 minutes for a cup of coffee
• Seriously? another day with no nap??  This DVD player in her room was a genius idea - at least I can have a little time to myself
• OMG - the movie is over and she's crying!  Doesn't this girl ever sleep???
• WHY IS SHE CRYING??  she's out of bed and watching cartoons - what more could she want?
• mmmmmmmmm peanut butter and sugar - what more could anyone want?
• Damn - it's almost 3 - I better get off the computer and finish laundry before everyone gets home

A lot of time to think

Let me preface this post by saying

stay at home moms rock!

I've "always" worked.  I say it that way because there have been some brief times where I did not work outside the home, and some times when I tried to be a SAHM.  To me though, I have worked more often than not.  A lot of that time was working for my parents & I could have my kids with me, or take off work whenever they had something special going on.  I have always fantasized the reality of being a SAHM.  I always thought it would be awesome.  My house would be clean, I would become a better cook, better mother, better wife, better everything - if only I could stay at home.

Though a series of _______ events - I am now a SAHM.  My house is not any cleaner, my kids are not any happier with me, neither is my husband... worst of all - I am not happy with myself.  Being a SAHM gives a lady a lot of time to think.  Here's a brief and painfully honest list of things I have thought:

• This house is a mess - I should clean it up during her nap (ha ha ha)
• OMG - WHY WON'T SHE TAKE A NAP???
•  good God, I can't wait 'til the kids come home so someone can take care of this screaming brat
• ahhh, 3 o'clock, someone should be home soon!
• it's 3:30 where the F&*% is everyone???
• ohhhhh, I see - you make the $$$ so it's okay for you to stroll in at 4:45 wanting to know what's for dinner - ha - jokes on you buddy - NOTHING cause I completely forgot to take out meat to thaw!
• Damn, I should have taken out something for dinner cause I am starving!

so, yeah.  I really don't think I am cut out to be a SAHM.  The idea of it is great!  I freaking love it, but the reality is not great.  I thought with the new year and all I would be able to turn over a new leaf and change my attitude.  Well, Mike is back to work, and the kids (finally) go back to work tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the true test!  Wish me luck!

On the upside - I am maintaining my weight loss because we do not have the money for tons of snacks on only one income.

ha ha ha ha - I'm laughing so hard I'm crying

Wait, no, I'm just crying...

Maybe it's just the full moon...