Gratitude

GRATITUDE

I haven't had much of it lately.  During this month where we are supposed to be giving thanks for everything and preparing for the birth or our savior I have been pretty ungrateful, unhappy, and worst of all, unloving.  To my many friends, family, children and myself.  

I had a long overdue chat with a friend tonight.  I had to do it over Facebook because I knew I didn't have the guts to hear what she had to say over the phone, or worse, to my face.  You see, she always gives it to me straight!  I have friends that will will let me vent and placate me with assuring words, some that only want to hear the good stuff, and very few that will give it to me straight & tell me to put my big girl panties on and get on with life.  Sometimes that's just what I need!  Unfortunately, that's NOT what I have been searching for.  I was searching for that quiet ear that would listen to my woes and be 100% on my side and tell me exactly what I needed to do and give me the means to execute their well thought out plans.  I forgot that the person I was searching for was always with me - listening to my woes - 100% on my side - giving me the means to execute His well thought out plans.  I just forgot.  GOD.

Anyways, My friend first told me that (basically) my pity party needed to end & I need to Dust myself off & move on.  She told me I needed to write down everything I am grateful for.  Yes, yes I do.  I didn't do it on Facebook while everyone else was.  I just couldn't think of 30 things to be grateful for and I am sure no one wanted to see "I am grateful for my children" 30 days in a row.  They were the only good things I could see in my life for quite a while (and some days even that was questionable).  I think I can do it now.

1) I am thankful for my children - even when they are being smart Alec troublemakers - they still make me smile.

2) I am very grateful for the military and all it provides.

3) I am thankful for the men & women that serve and protect us and our rights.

4) I am thankful for MAIL.  Seriously, send a letter, it will make someone smile!

5) I am grateful for a reliable vehicle that gets us where we need to be (usually 10 - 20 minutes early)

6) I am thankful for the many friends and acquaintances that get me.

7) I am thankful that my father is healthy.

8) I am grateful to my step-mother for her insurance that has covered most of my father's medical expenses

9) I am thankful for my brother who just wants to fix things for everyone

10) I am thankful for my sister who just wants everyone to be happy.

11) I am thankful for all the family angels in Heaven watching over us)

12) I am thankful for friends and family that honestly pray for us!

13) I am thankful for SAW's fierce feelings of protection  .

14) I am thankful for Bug's quiet observation and sense of knowing what needs to get done.

15) I am grateful for all of the talented musical artists that bless the world with their music and voices every day!  

**********Halfway done and I am losing steam, but I will make it!***************************

16) I am grateful to all the writers - everywhere - published or not.  Thank you for sharing.

17) I am grateful for all the other bloggers that teach me how to make pretty much everything from scratch.

18) I am grateful for technology that keeps me in constant contact with everyone (even if I don't want it).

19) I am grateful for my mother for all the things she taught me, and all the things she didn't.  Some things I just had to learn on my own!

20) I am grateful for my "other mother" for still always being being there for me.  She's been part of my life since I was 14, even when she may not have wanted to be!

21) I am thankful that Mike knows how to cook, even if he doesn't do it as much as he used to.

22) I am thankful for the beautiful warm sandy beaches of Florida - I will get back there someday!

23) I am thankful that MJ inherited her daddy's ability to make me laugh.

24) I am thankful that I am creative.

25) I am thankful that there is a free gym within walking distance of my house!

26) I am thankful for water in every form.

27) I am grateful for my first amendment right to free speech.

28) I am thankful for my bed, my cozy blankets, my pillows, and a good book that can help me forget about the days troubles.

29) I am thankful for my Nook!

30) I am thankful for my ability to choose EVERYTHING!

Happy November everyone!

Christmas Crafting

Christmas Crafting Has Begun!!!

We save our egg cartons for friends with chickens but the pile was getting really BIG!  I had to do something with them!!  I had bug search for a Christmas craft online, but I wasn't excited about any of them.  I knew I wanted to have MJ make a Christmas tree, I just had to figure out how.  

We got out the egg cartons and started cutting while Bug got out the paints. I started stacking and figured it all out & then the girls started painting.

You can barely see the result in the picture, but trust me - it's cute!  When Dad is distracted with a new game don't ask him to take a picture of the the baby and her tree!

In the midst of trying to figure out how to stack the pieces I discovered that we had no glue!  UGH!!!

Internet to the rescue once again!  I found a great recipe for toddler safe home made glue!  This saved the day!!  I even added a bit of green food coloring since I know we will be using it mostly for Christmas Crafts!  The result was fabulous!

My Thanksgiving Menu

My Thanksgiving Menu

We decided to stay home this year and not visit family for Thanksgiving.  Good thing because we are completely flat broke!  My original idea was to buy a lasagna and have an Italian dinner, but on pay day when I went grocery shopping I was not even thinking that Thanksgiving was mere days away!  So Monday I realized - OMG Thanksgiving is THURSDAY!!!  We are broke - I had not done ANY holiday meal planning and the cupboards (yes, only days after payday) were practically bare!  Ok, not really, but when you are thinking in terms of a holiday meal - they definitely looked that way.  Ok, so back to my original plan of making Thanksgiving NO BIG DEAL.

Bug was very disappointed to hear that we were not going to have a traditional Turkey day.  It was very hard to look at her and NOT give in.  So then I started planning.  Thank GOD for the Internet or I never would have figured out that I have everything I need in order to make a pretty good holiday meal - everything but the main dish!  No turkey is not a big issue in our house since Mike doesn't like turkey and SAW prefers ham, but with $3 in the account there was no way I was going to swing it.  Luckily on our most recent trip to see Mike's parents they gave us some deer steaks - so we were good.  I also managed to be in the right place at the right time and got a free turkey!  Woo Hoo!!!  So now we have the fixings for a real holiday to be thankful for!

Of course the most important thing (when your family doesn't like turkey) is the PIE!!!  Luckily I stocked up on pumpkin so I knew we were covered there!  The last time i made a pumpkin pie (2 weeks ago for pie Sunday) I used the Libby's recipe on the can of pumpkin and a refrigerated Pilsbury pie crust.  I was very disappointed!  For such well known companies I was expecting them to be fabulous, but they were very bland!  Ugh!  So, I had to find a new recipe! Once I found that Everything else came along nicely!

Milkless Pumpkin Pie with The Pie Man's Perfectly Flaky Crust

Dinner Rolls (they are actually Hamburger Buns, but they are soooo good!!!

Macaroni & Cheese with Cauliflower

Dutch Beets (because I have tons of canned beets!)

Mashed potatoes (one of the benefits of living in Idaho - we always have tons of potatoes!)

My macaroni Salad

All this and a couple deer steaks for Mike and Turkey for us.  I am still searching for a good stuffing recipe  and I may add a few things just for snacking throughout the day (like deviled eggs or something).

Hope you all have a great day!

ps - thanks to all the great bloggers and chefs and bakers our there that shared their recipes!

Under Construction

Please forgive me for the mess

I am in process of de-cluttering my life and am recreating my blog here.

I'm sure I will have exciting things to say sometimes soon.

Feel free to follow my very disorganized and depressed thoughts on twitter.

Love to all!

Sharon

DisOrganized thoughts

Are my thoughts ever organized??

Are my posts ever organized??

I bet an editor would rip out their hair trying to fix my writing so that people could actually read it!  Ugh. I have given up trying to make my Blog something that reaches millions though.  My mere 27 followers are okay for me.  I won't deny a little twinge of jealousy at the numbers my sister's blog has, but let's face it - hers is beautiful  she writes so that you WANT to keep reading!  I am happy if even I can reach the end of my own writing and still be happy about it...

So anyways...

I am pet sitting a friends cat for the next couple months.  She is very different from Mew (who escaped and went missing a few weeks ago).  She is very very vocal, and very - uhhhh - needy.  She likes to wake me up my sitting on my head, she likes to sit on the keyboard while I am typing as well.  She will head butt you when she wants attention and you aren't giving it to her.  Very Very different from Mew!  It's fun to have a cat back in the house, though.  Although, I did notice that she has affected my allergies quite a bit.  Next week I am pet sitting my neighbors dog too, so we will see how that goes!

So this was totally not what I had in mind when I sat down to blog today, but I have lost that thought during the battle for my keyboard.

Maybe next time.

Happy Birthday Julia!!!

Happy Birthday Julia!!!

Today is my friend's birthday.  She's the same age as I am (so no need to mention any numbers, although she's so cool she probably wouldn't even care). 

Julia has been my friend for over 20 years.  She has awesome parents, and cool sister and a very spirited brother (just like me!).

Julia's request this year was that instead of everyone posting birthday wishes on her FB wall we all choose a word that describes her & Take a picture holding a sign with that word *or* acting that word out.

I think that's a fabulous idea!!  I see many many people stealing it and using it from now on! 

I immediately knew what word I wanted to use.

OPEN

Julia has always led a very open life.  She has always been a very open person.  Of course she went through her moody teenage years like the rest of us, but she maintained her openness throughout that phase. 

She is a smart, helpful, loving mother as well. 

She is doing something similar to this for her son's birthday coming up this month.  We are all sending Postcards to him and she will put them together in a book for him to treasure always.  Isn't that an awesome idea??

Anyways.  I admire Julia and her very open life.  She never shuns anyone that questions her and she remains calm (for the most part) and gives people the chance to expand their understanding of the world through her. 

I wish that we could have remained closer friends since high school, but, alas - life happens.

So, for now, I can only offer this.

My picture of her unique openness outside in the windy rain

(which MJ had to get into at the last minute).

My family is OK!

There is nothing wrong with my family.  OK, maybe we are all a little grouchy, edgy, short with each other.  Maybe we are all on our own paths of destruction.  We are good people though.  If you ask us for help - we will help you.  We don't expect you to pay us or repay the favor at all.  It is always a nice surprise when people do though.
When I get angry though is when someone asks for help, and I offer it freely and willingly and it gets turned down.  Why is my family not good enough to help you when you obviously need it ( or you wouldn't have asked to begin with).
I get especially angry when I feel like this is a personal attack (for lack of a better word at the moment) against one of my children.  Yes, my son is going through some shit right now because of a poor decision he made, but that doesn't mean he is a worthless lump.  It doesn't mean that he doesn't know how to work hard!

Here's where I get mad and call people out.  Read on if you dare!

A family member (Mike's family) posted on FB that they needed some help.  They even said they would pay (and SAW could really use the money!!!).  I called and offered SAW's help.  They "hmmmm"'d and "uh, well"'d and finally said "no thanks" on the premise that it would be too hard for SAW and that Mike wouldn't be there to supervise him.

 Are you F'ing serious???  What's so special about your damn HAY that he can't help you with it???

Here's where I take a page from Big Brother Ken's book and decide to NOT offer to help them again.  If one of us isn't good enough then none of us are.  And -  I kinda hope that no one else offered to help and that karma kicks them in the butt for this.

I am often amazed at peoples prejudices.

Baking, Remembering, Feeling Blessed

Baking, Remembering & Feeling Blessed

Today I Yesterday I quit my job.  I had only worked there for 3 days, and I gave no notice what-so-ever. I feel it was a good decision though.  I was nervous yesterday when I was writing my resignation letter and washing my uniform so I could turn it in.  I procrastinated so long that when I finally went to turn everything in - they were closed!  Luckily Someone was still there and I turned everything in.  I felt a great peace as I drove home.  Of course I was nervous again this morning when I realized that I forgot to charge my phone (on the only charger that I could find that would charge my phone, I just forgot to turn the switch on for that outlet!).  I just don't want them to think that I am childishly ignoring their calls (like I do to everyone else).  I got over it though when I realized that I had a beautiful rainy fall day to spend with 2 of my children.
      So, I decided MJ decided that we needed to make some cookies this morning!  I knew the perfect recipe to try out too!  A fabulous Toll House recipe on the back of the white chocolate chips I bought for a very specific reason (NOT the cookies I was about to make, of course).  So we got out all the ingredients and pushed MJ's chair up to the counter so she could help.  I was repeatedly amazed at what she knew/remembered from watching me (and Bug) in the kitchen.  She helped me with the flour - and knew what it was!!  She knew the brown sugar goes in her oatmeal, and knew there was four, butter, and sugar that goes in the cookies.  She was very excited about mixing!  She was even more excited when we put the white chocolate chips in the mix and she got to sneak a few chips without getting in trouble.  A friend of mine from Florida always posts about baking with her daughter and I always wished MJ was old enough to do that with me.  She finally is! 
     I was also thinking about baking with my mom.  My mom stayed at home and worked with the family business (from home).  It was a rare occasion that I actually got to see or help her bake.  Everything was usually done while we were at school.  I was a very lucky & spoiled child.  Now days we always talk about how spoiled our own children are with their cell phones and iPods and game systems.  I think, though, that we are the lucky ones.  I remembered the kitchen table being covered in tin foil for the cookies to be cooled on. I have a cooling rack with 2 shelves.  My grandmother mixed everything by hand.  We now have hand mixers & stand mixers (although Bug and I really do prefer to mix everything by hand).  When I am done baking I throw everything into the dishwasher, not the case for my mother.  Not only did I grow up spoiled and lucky, but I still am.
     I really do feel blessed today to be able to spend time baking with my girls and helping SAW with his homework.  I am glad that I have the option to stay home with them like my mother did.
    

Making it at Home

Yet another blog post about trying to make it to the end of the month and still have food left over...

A lot has happened already this month.  I've been keeping busy, and staying stressed out as well. But that's another story. OK, not really another story, pretty much the same story that repeats every month or so...

Anyways...

Yesterday I actually started thinking about dinner BEFORE it was dinner time!  I knew I had a head of cauliflower that had to be used up, and a pound of ground beef that I thawed out.  I had to find a way to make the cauliflower so that everyone would eat it, not just me & Bug.  My original idea was from a recipe for mac n cheese with cauliflower.  Personally, I think it sounds great, but I doubted that Mike would eat it.  Then I found a recipe for Cheese sauce from scratch in this awesome cookbook I checked out from the library.  Who knew?  OK, I guess it is kind of common sense, but still... I had no idea!  So Cheesy Cauliflower it is!  I also made a meatloaf to go with that.  UGH. It was by far the WORST meatloaf I have EVER made!  I love meatloaf.  I would make it every day if I could.  I just learned yesterday that my husband DOESN'T like meatloaf! (I find myself wondering, often, what planet he is from!)  I told him he would need a lot of ketchup with it because it wasn't very good.  "All meatloaf tastes like shit.  I don't know why you thought this would be any different."  Harsh, yes, but I know that he wasn't putting MY cooking down, just meatloaf as a dish in itself.  As long as I have the time and the ingredients I will continue to make meatloaf though!  So, if anyone has a good tried and true recipe for meatloaf I would LOVE to try it!

Today is a nice brisk fall day.  It's the perfect day for soup!  I don't have any pasta of any kind (and am not in the mood to make it myself) so I had to get creative again.  I had frozen broccoli, leftover cheese sauce from last night, & onions... Creamy Broccoli & Cheese soup!!  I started out with this recipe and went from there.
I didn't have Velveeta, so I used the left over cheese sauce from last night, and I tossed in the teeny tiny bit of leftover cauliflower from last night too.  I put in the nutmeg that it calls for, but next time I will not!  We did not like the taste of the nutmeg in the soup.  We also had to add a lot of salt 1) to overcome the taste of the nutmeg, and 2) because my cheese sauce was not salty at all and Velveeta IS.  I will definitely chop the onions smaller next time, and use more milk!  The way it is written it would definitely NOT feed my family of 5, but with a little extra milk/water it was great for the 3 of use that were here for lunch!  I know a recipe is a keeper when SAW goes back for seconds!!!

What have you been making for dinner lately??

LIFE

I've been having a rough time with life lately... I am overwhelmed.
All this crap we are going through with the court systems is just grating on my nerves.  I hate it every time my phone rings because it is either a)someone wanting money I don't have or b)something about the court case. OK,  maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration - My Dad called & talked to me for 1.5 minutes the other day and I missed 2 phone calls from Kathy, but other than that - it is either a or b.
I am feeling super whiny, but also feeling justified in my whininess.
I really need a job.  I think I might feel a bit better about myself if I had a job and a way to help fix this situation instead of just sitting here like a lump.  A big overweight lump....

Meal planning

I am - yet again - trying to make a meal plan for the week.  Thanks to Pinterest it seems a lot easier than before!  People have posted such great recipes to try!  I have posted a ton of them to my board here.  I have even made a few of them! LOL!  Anyways, I digress, I am trying it one more time because once again - we are broke!  No news flash there, but still....

So far I know what I am doing today, tomorrow and the next day.  I have the ingredients for all three dinners (why would I bother planning breakfasts and lunches when we all eat at different times?).  Now I am stumped!

Enter Facebook.

I have searched for a few groups to join for meal planning and freezer meals in hopes for inspiration.  I also posted in a few of my mom groups.  I am sure that some of my friends will come to my rescue!

So wish me luck and feel free to email me some tasty recipes (cheap - no chicken - tasty recipes!).

At the end of the week I hope to (remember to) post my menu and recipes and maybe even a few pictures.
Check later!

Sweet tea Addicts

When we lived in Florida we discovered that Northern Sweet Tea is NOT the same as Southern Sweet Tea.  My family quickly became addicted to Sweet tea.  It got even worse when we discovered a little place in Fort Walton Beach called Yardbirds.  Not only did they have AMAZING chicken, but their sweet tea was so good we bought it by the gallon!  When we moved up to Idaho we realized that we would never be able to find tea as good as Yardbirds.  I was on a mission.  I HAD to find a recipe that was good enough for my family!  I tried and tried.  I tested all kinds of recipes.  I went through A LOT of tea.  I even tried different kinds of tea bags, sugar and water!
I finally found it!  The recipe of a lifetime! My family loves it & I now make it by the gallon - almost every single day!
I have to say though that when I first read that the water is the most important key to goo southern sweet tea I laughed, but I tried it anyways.  Yup, filtered water makes better tea.  A lot of people swear by spring water, but our filtered water from the fridge and the spring water from the store made the same tasting tea.
Sooooo....Here it is - you MUST try it!

First - get 1 gallon of your best water. 
**Boil 2cups of that water and 2cups of sugar and stir until the sugar is dissolved & remove from heat and set aside.
**Get 8 regular size Black tea bags, or 4 family size (Luzianne makes the best, but I am currently using a generic black tea and my family didn't notice a difference) put them in a large pot but tie them off to the handle or something so they don't touch the bottom.  Pour the rest of your water over them.
**Bring tea to a simmer (DO NOT BOIL) for 5 minutes.
**Remove from heat & cover & let steep for 20to 25 minutes until you get a nice dark color.
Meanwhile - I stir in my secret ingredient to the 2 cups of sugar water - 2 to 3 tablespoons of honey.  Stir until it's all dissolved.
**Pour you sugar water into your gallon container, then pour your tea over.  Give it a good shake and put in the refrigerator until you just can't stand it anymore.
Fill your glass with crushed ice and pour your tea over it & enjoy!

It looks like I may have to start making 2 gallons because I just went to get some for myself and its ALL GONE!!! Be aware, you may be creating a habit you can't break!

Yard sales and unfriendly neighbors

We are finally having our yard sale (OK, it's a driveway sale - but you know what I mean!)!  I have been planning it for months!  I posted on all my groups & FB pages.  I invited everyone I know to bring stuff and yard sale with me.  I cleaned everything & priced everything too!  Here I sit, all by myself (except for the moments that SAW sticks his head out the door to check on stuff & when MJ sits out here with me). So far, as of lunchtime on day 2, I have made about $30.  Not the big haul I was hoping for!  But, basically it's free money, so I know I shouldn't complain.  I was really hoping to not have to haul all this stuff back into the garage and find storage space for it AGAIN!  Yes, some of it will be going to the Airman's Attic, but some of this I know is worth some money and I am holding out hope that someone else will want it!  We have had a lot of drivebys (you know, when they just stop at the end of the driveway and look out the window but never get out of the car).  Personally, drivebys are the worst!  I mean, doesn't my stuff warrant more than a glance out the window?  I have one large table that is very crowded & there's no way that from the driveway you can see what's on it! 
Enough complaining about that... I've got bigger things to complain about today!
We were so freaking excited when we saw that someone was finally moving into the house next door!  the day their moving van showed up I rushed into the kitchen and baked them a loaf or apricot coffee cake and packaged it up with some of the apricot syrup I made to drizzle over the top.  SAW and I knocked on the door & handed over the "Welcome to the neighborhood!" gift!  We quickly introduced ourselves and let them get back to their moving in!  We had high hopes that we were going to become great friends with our new neighbors.  They also have kids SAW and Bugs ages so that made everyone happy!  They have a dog also, that made our dogs pretty happy.  Happy enough that Bloo decided she needed to hang out ON TOP of the fence and chat with them, and Gizmo decided that he needed to dig under the fence and go play!  The day he had to come knock on our door to come get the dog out of his yard was a very unfriendly day!  I apologized profusely and told him that we were working on it (we didn't have neighbors when we brought the dogs home so this was new for them).  A couple days later gizmo was over there again...  It hasn't happened since then,they also have not spoken to us since then.  We smile and wave and say hi every time we see them outside (I mean, how can we not - we share a garage wall and a driveway so we see them a lot!).  They never respond.  Ever. Not even a wave or a nod.  Except for their teenage girl (who was very interested in SAW the first day they moved in), but even she only smiles and nods after she is in her car & driving out!  WTF?? (BTW - according to Bug that means "Well that's Fantastic!")  My hopes and dreams of being friends with our neighbors is crushed.  I feel horribly guilty about it too.  I am also a bit perturbed though, the reason the dogs stopped trying to say hi to them is because they only go outside a couple times a day now and someone has to sit and "supervise" the whole 5 minutes.  My dogs LIKE to be outside.  Gizmo would stay out there all day if he could just lounging in the shade on his blanket.  But, we just can't risk the chance of them trying to go over/under the fence again.  It's sad.  The only upside of that (for the dogs) is that we take them to the dog park A LOT now!  Almost every night.  They get to run and play with other dogs and we get to sit in the shade and chat with friendly dog owners that tell us stories about their awesome neighbors!  UGH!


So do you guys have good neighbors?  What is the deciding factor that makes a neighbor good/bad?  

Self Esteem Playlist

I was reading on Cafemom about a Self Esteem playlist that someone created.  I started thinking that it's a great idea!  I have playlists for when I'm having a bad day, when I'm sad or angry, but I can always use more music!  We all can, right?
So Now I'm thinking about what songs would be on my playlist to boost me up and what would my number one song be?
This might take me a bit to figure out and gather up all the music, so until then - tell me what your #1 song would be?

I was never a cat person...

until I met this guy...

This is Mew.

I always hated cats.  I became allergic to cats at around 13/14.  My sister and father are allergic also.  Even my daughter is allergic.  My mother always said that one never owns a cat - the cat owns you.  Why would I want an animal to run my life?

SAW loves cats!  Bug does too, but she has a hard time with them (she's the allergic one).  I always told my kids that if we ever found a cat that I wasn't allergic to then I would get it for them - no questions asked.  Who knew that would ever happen???

On a trip up to   down to visit Mike's family .... wait... nope, this was the trip where he wrecked the car and I had to drive 4 hours to go pick him up!  Anyways, I decided I would play with some cats.  I had heard that a friend of his had a bunch of kittens running around their house and that if I could catch one I could keep it.  So, temporarily forgetting my allergies we went off in search of a kitten.  We only saw one while we were there, and there was no way we were ever going to catch it, so we went back to his parents house.

Mike was working on something and I was playing with the multitude of cats running around their place. (His Dad had also told me that if I found one I liked then I could keep it, but, of course, we all knew which cats were Dad's & there was no way I would take one of them!).  This guy came right up to me and started purring and rubbing his head on my leg.  I scooped him up & he nuzzled right into me.  He had an injured front paw so I imagine he was glad to be off from it.  I tried to sit down with him, but when I say down and set him in my lap he jumped and took off.  His paw must have hurt badly though because he did not get very far.  He went straight over to the lawn chair and curled up.  I knew I was taking this cat home!  I double checked with Mike's parents and his mom said to go ahead and take him.  I double checked with Mike and he said yes too.  So I loaded up the cat and we drove home.

A 4 hour drive with a cat on my lap ( a very nervous cat ) and I didn't sneeze once!  No puffy red eyes, no itching whatsoever!  It was amazing.

MJ named him Mew.  SAW called him Toby.  He answered to everything!  He tolerated the dogs we fostered too!  He was even litter box trained!  Oh, and he was neutered!  He was IS amazing!

I am also convinced he is either magic or some sort of secret agent like Perry from Phineas & Ferb!  He is always disappearing and then when we open the front door he comes strolling in.  Just about 45 minutes ago Bug brought him downstairs and he sat down on the couch.  Then Mike was leaving for work and opened the door and there he was!  We don't have any pet doors, and the garage door isn't open.  There is no reasonable way he could have gotten out there.

This cat is amazing!

Napping

Sweet Walnut Scones

Sweet Walnut Scones

(adapted from Cooks.com)



3 1/2 C Unbleached all purpose flour
5 tsp. double acting baking powder
1 tsp. salt
Sugar (I used light brown sugar)
1/2 C butter

1/4 C Crisco (regular or butter flavored)
4 eggs
1/2 C milk
1 T maple or maple flavor syrup
1/2 C walnuts, finely chopped



1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  In medium bowl with fork, mix flour, baking powder, salt, and 2 tablespoons sugar. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

2. In small bowl with fork, beat eggs. Reserve 2 tablespoons beaten egg for brushing on scones later. Mix in milk & maple syrup into remaining beaten eggs. Stir egg mixture into flour mixture just until ingredients are blended. (MJ had a blast helping stir!)  Then mix with hands *squishy squishy* until all flour is incorporated.

3. Turn dough onto lightly floured surface and shape into a disk.  Place onto round stoneware (or lightly greased cookie sheet) I cut mine into 10 pieces (like a pizza), but you can cut yours to whatever size suits your needs.

4. In a small bowl stir walnuts and 2 teaspoons of sugar (MJ and Bug chopped the walnut with the Ninja Blender and then mixed in the sugar.  MJ loves to push the button!) With a pastry brush, brush tops of scones with reserved beaten egg; sprinkle with walnut mixture. (I am not fortunate enough to have a pastry brush right now so I just used the back of a spoon.  Worked just fine! I also smoothed out the Walnut mixture and patted it into/onto the tops of the scones.) 

Bake scones 12-15 minutes until golden. Serve warm.

If you bake them ahead of time you can heat them back up by wrapping them individually in foil and putting them in the over @ 425 for 10 minutes.   I like to put mine in an airtight container and munch on them hot/warm/cold all day long.  The original recipe says that it will make 30 scones.  those must be pretty small scones.  The walnut mixture makes a nice crust on top and the maple syrup adds just a hint of sweetness.

What the family thinks:

MJ had hers with a little tea - she liked  dipping it (maybe I should try to make her some biscotti).  Bug likes everything warmed up & asked for 2nds so I am sure she likes them.  

 SAW is slowly savoring his (because he knows he can't devour the entire pan in one sitting), but assures me that they are good despite their minimal flavor (he wants more sugar in them next time).

I love the crunchy crust of the walnuts and the light sweetness.  The Crisco made them have nice flaky layers without ruining the density & texture that a scone usually has. 

Mike is sleeping (night shift again) so he hasn't had one yet, but it has all the elements he loves so I am sure they will be a hit with him as well.

All in all I think it was a great recipe.  Next time though I think I'd like a few walnuts mixed in to the scone.  We will see!

Using up the last of it!

In general I like to use things up.  I know that's an odd statement but it's true. Like when I use a pencil or crayon down to the last possible nub, or use up all the ink in a pen (before I lose it).  It's an oddly satisfying feeling.  I like to use up every last drop of toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner.  Everything!  I like to know I am not being wasteful.
Oddly enough, though, I never really felt that way about food.  I mean, when you use up the last slice of cheese in the middle of making grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner that's defnintely NOT satifying!  Or the last drop of milk before everyone has had their cereal.  UGH!
Today was different though.
First I haveto rewind a little though...
Two weeks ago (last paycheck)...
Bug and I went grocery shopping, list & coupons in hand.  We knew our budget ($250 this check, which was a big deal because we have been keeping it under $200 for the last month).  With such a "big" budget I was planning on getting some snacking foods.  A luxury that we don't often enjoy.  I started out doing very good at keeping track of my total and watching for good deals (with or without coupons).  Slowly, as I weaved up and down the aisles, I began to resent the budget I was given.  I was angry and resenting a lot of things.  I stopped keeping track of my total.  I was feeling a little ... who knows, but the point is that I stopped keeping track.  I had a rough idea, I was still watching prices. I gave up the yummy tasty $5 box of cereal for the less yummy less tasty $2 box of cereal, even Bug knew that was the right choice!  I felt like I was within my budget, and I thought that with all my awesome coupons I would actually be under budget so I could maybe sneak in a few other things at a different store.  At the check out I am normally nervous.  I try to watch to make sure things ring up correctly and to make sure that I am on target for the right total.  This time, though, I was dreading that total!  My resentment had given way to guilt.  I should not have gotten so many cans of nuts (especially after learning that one of my precious planters coupons had *gasp* expired!),but I felt a little embarrassed that they might know we are poor and on a tight budget if I put them back. Hello, Sharon!  You are shopping with extreme couponer coupons, they already know you are on a tight budget!  So I watched my total climb.  I listened to the cashier call over a manager about one of my coupons (ladies, if you ever receive a "mystery savings" coupon be prepared for a lengthy discussion at the check out over whether it's valid or not before they even try it, and then another one after they scan it and see the amount!).  I felt my blood pressure rise and my face flush.  Finally, I was done!  There was my total - in BIG BOLD numbers for all to see - $262!!!  aaaccckkkk!!!
Needless to say, we ran out "real" food pretty quickly, and the snack food barely lasted a few days. And, did I mention that I did NOT buy ANY meat on this grocery trip???  Not my proudest moment!
It was time to get creative.  This past week we have had a lot of rament noodles.  A lot of stir fry (with ramen noodles or rice). A lot of torillas (homamade) with sugar & cinnamon.  A lot of soup. A lot of oatmeal (with jelly, or peanut butter, or nutella, or whatever makes it so MJ will eat it).
Last night I made amazing refried beans and tortillas.  I started the beans at about 10am (after soaking overnight of course).  It was sooooo hard not to eat them all before dinner.  Everyone was so excited about them that we made the tortillas early and had an early dinner!  The downside to that it that we were hungry again by bedtime, but it was okay!  They were Amazing!!
So, that leads me back to my story of using things up today. 
Today I made Sweet Walnut scones.  I used the very last bit of flour, all the rest of the eggs, and the butter too!  Anyone that knows me knows that these are the three things I HATE running out of most!  Today though, I had a different feeling.  I was pleased.  I had that satisfying feeling when I threw away the flour bag and the egg shells and butter wrapper.
I was proud of myself for providing for my family even after frivolously spending our budget.  We made it - right up to the last day!

Birthdays

MJ is going to turn 2 in a few days!  I'm honestly amazed we've made it this far!  Having a baby in your 30's is tough.It's exhausting, trying, scary and yet joyous.
I feel like I am cheating her on her party though.  I was going to try to plan a big party, but, as always, funds are low.  We still haven't ordered a cake yet.  Yeah, I could make one, but I really don't feel like being disappointed.  We really don't know a lot of people here with little ones, so there's not a huge need for a ton of money to be spent on goodie bags.  I'd still like the few kids that are coming to leave with a little something though.  MJ loves rubber duckies so I ordered some adorable rubber duckie soaps from Etsy.  I wanted to buy a bunch of ducks too, but I procrastinated and times and money ran out.  Pay day is the day of her party so we will be running around like crazy that morning to get everything!  I found some cute printables and decorations I can do ahead of time on Pinterest though, so that'll be great!  I think it will end up being a good day!

My birthday is coming up also.  I have always gotten my hopes up and been super excited about my birthday.  ALWAYS!! But, I find myself a little deflated on the actual day.  I have also learned that birthdays - no matter whose - are for kids.  My kids are more excited about my birthday than I am.  This year, I am determined to not get all pumped up for it.  Whatever will be will be.  I actually already have a plan to volunteer that day at our base library with the reading program.  We will be making and decorating birdhouses that day.  I think it will be a fun way to spend the afternoon. 

I am also planning a few birthday rituals for MJ and myself to leave the negatives of this past year behind us and welcome growth and happiness into our life in the next year. ( I have been researching some of my eclectic pagan-ness and found a few things like this I'd like to incorporate in to our lives. More on that later)

Do you do anything "different" for birthdays in your family?

If wishes were butterflies I wouldn't need them to come true

If wishes were butterflies and the characters in my books were real I wouldn't be lonely.
I'd skip arm in arm with Dorothy and the cowardly lion knowing that I was not the most F'd up one there.
I'd ride the little engine that could up the mountain cheering him on, not worrying if my weight was keeping him from moving forward.
I'd tell Scarlett that it's okay that Rhett doesn't give a damn, she doesn't need him.

But, that's not the case.  I'm here with my wishes and dreams and shelves and boxes full of books...Lonely.  In the last 4 years everything has blown up in my face over and over again.  I keep trying and trying to put everything back together with glue and glitter and fancy duct tape, but it just doesn't hold.  This desert is like a field of land mines, no matter what direction I go in I lead my family right into another one.  

I wish that I could fix it.  I wish I could take the pain and fear away.  I know of only one way to do it though, and I just don't have the means.
I feel so selfish that I am thinking about everything I will lose.  I have to stop and think about what possibilities it opens up for everyone else.

I wish that I was not the most F'd up person I know!

Storms and Rainbows

Things have been a little rough lately.  I know they will get better but as always it's a little hard to see the rainbow during the storm.
A lot has happened since I last blogged (Do I say that at the beginning of every post?).  I have taken a few trips and had some fun.  In January Bug and I met my best friend in Seattle and I stayed there while Bug went to Mexico with my Brother and his family ( I think I already mentioned that and promised to blog about that later...hmmmmm, maybe next time).  I also took a trip to Alaska to see my Father and Sister (and everyone else) in March.  I took MJ with.  She did very well on the plane.  It was the layovers in between the plane rides that she was a terror.  We also went to Firth for Easter to visit Mike's family and friends.  That was a particularly hard trip for me. 
All in all - through the good and the bad I have learned a lot of unpleasant things about myself.  I am working on them, but I am not ready to re-hash all that right now.  Mainly because I am in a public library right now and don't want to cry in here with all these people.
I'll post more next time I come (can't at home on account of no Internet anymore), just wanted everyone to know that I am alive.
Good thoughts and prayers needed!
Thanks!

It's been a while

I haven't blogged in a while because, simply, I'm lazy.  Lately I'd much rather be sleeping than doing much of anything else.  Sleeping and eating.  So of course it comes as no great surprise that I have gained a TON of weight!  Happily, though, when I apprehensively stepped on my scale today I found that I had lost 3.4 pounds!  Yup, that .4 counts!  So now I still have to lose 10 more pounds to get back to where I started about 2 years ago.  Not so coincidentally, MJ will be 2 in 2 months!  I'm super excited!  I wish my family could be here to celebrate with us though!  I had a big trip planned to go back to AK this summer, but during these last 2 months a few events have changed ALL my plans!  Mike is no longer getting deployed, which is both good and bad.  Good for obvious reasons, bad because we really needed the extra money that comes from being deployed in a dangerous place and separated from your family.  On the upside we did get a substantial tax return that helped pay a ton of bills!  Downside is that we will not have the money to fly all of us to AK.  SAW also got into a bit of trouble last month.  Out of respect for him I will not go into it, but I will say he has been home from school with MJ and I for 2 weeks now & I really need for him to get back to school!
I am staring at my entertainment center looking at all the junk that gets piled here...  am I not allowed to have a clutter free vertical surface?  My kitchen counters, bar, dining room table and both end table are all cluttered with so much junk we barely have a space to set our drinks, let alone eat dinner.  With all the stressful things we've had going on I MUST get back to my Positive Changes thing.  I may have to go back through my list and make sure I am still good to go with everything I did before.  My thing for today is to work on my posture.  I have been having a lot of back pain lately and I think that if I could fix my posture it might not be so painful.  Of course one of the big issues with my back pain is that we have a waterbed...  can't fix that right now though, gotta have money.
It really is true that money is the root of all evil.  If it weren't for money I wouldn't have been disappointed when the deployment got cancelled, I wouldn't have to tell my kids no all the time, I would NOT be out of cereal right now either!
Anyways, lots to blog about and tons of pictures from my trip to Seattle to post.  See you soon!

Wordless Wednesday

At the Seattle aquarium

Re-purposed Yarn

I have read a lot about people getting sweaters from thrift stores and repurposing the yarn. I searched and searched for a decent sweater to try this with, but I never found anything... until a couple months ago. Of course I didn't take a "before" picture, but I'll tell you the sweater was NOT PRETTY! It had obviously been handmade & shrunk. It was a baby pink with a bright green "I" in the middle of it. The yarn was soft though, and it was free. Tough to beat free right?
So it took me a while to unravel the yarn because of the way the sweater was constructed. I worked on it a little at a time here and there. It was also hard to keep the cat/dogs/baby out of it!
I finally finished it his morning! Look at all this soft yarn I got from it! The largest ball is about baseball size. I also made a few things with the yarn along the way so add one more small ball of yarn to the pile! The piece of the sweater with the "I" on it is under everything. I am going to cut it down and frame it as an "H" for my daughters alphabet wall.

Have any of you done anything like this? Did you have much luck?

Trying my hand at hearts

Have you seen all those cute crocheted hearts that seem to be everywhere lately? I tried to make a few today in hopes of making MJ some new hair clips. The first one turned out too big for my original plan. I just weaved a bobby pin into it & pinned her hair back. Not too bad.

Becky's Photo Challenge

I'm on my phone so I'll elaborate later.

Positive Changes - so far

So far I am pleased with the changes I have made so far.  I type this with a smile on my face listening to my daughter yell from upstairs in 19mo old jibberish that basically she is not going to take a nap without her cuppy.  I think "I am not giving in to this tiny tyrant!  She will not get a cup at nap time  anymore  today."
Yup, I am smiling about it because that is my change for today.  I am not giving in to my daughter today.  Okay, Okay - some will argue that this is not a positive change, but hear me out because this decision comes from knowledge of the past.  According to my sister, I took a bottle/cup/drink of some kind to bed until I was about 5 (or older maybe).  I know that I let my son & daughter take cups to bed for a very long time (to be honest they still take a drink to their rooms at night).  I don't want to have to fight with her anymore on this.  She has to learn to nap/sleep without a drink.  And - one more huge decision - I am not taking the DVD player on our trip to Seattle and when I get back it  will no longer be in her room.  She will not get a movie at nap time either. 
So, just to update, here's where I am at so far:

1. I am still working on getting out of bed in the morning before the older kids leave for school.  I was doing great, but it just hasn't happened since last Thursday. 
2. I have been doing great at cleaning up the living room every night before bed except one day I decided last week was my day off, and then the other night I wasn't feeling well so I left it.  **BONUS** Last night when I started getting the house ready for bed Mike actually got up and helped.  I will not let this go unnoticed!
3. I have been trying to take care of the dishes myself and not make it one of the kids chores.  At first I wondered if they noticed that they weren't having to do it, but SAW proved to me that he had noticed because when I told him I would do it he said no, that it was his "turn".  I try to make sure that I get the dishwasher emptied and filled at night before bed, and I try to wash all the hand wash dishes at least every other day (I know, ~gasp~ I leave dirty dishes overnight.  Hey - it's a work in progress)
4. I have begun to make sure I am not leaving clothes in the washing machine overnight as well.  It is a chore that Bug offered to take over, but I am not sure I want to give up all the laundry to her, so I decided that the kids could be in charge of their own laundry, and I will take care of the rest.  which reminds me - I have to finish what I started this morning.
5. We are also selling what we don't need.  We all have the potential to be on the TV show Hoarders in my family.  I also married into a similar family.  I am trying to get rid of the clutter by either donating it to our local Airman's Attic, or by selling it.  Right now I need all the money I can scrounge up for our trip to Seattle, but it's also great just getting things out of the way.
6. Exercise, Exercise, Exercise.  I have avoided it for years because of my previous life (1st marriage).  I have started going to the gym at least 2 times a week, or getting outside for some exercise.  I haven't lost a lot, but I can feel my jeans getting a little looser.

So, Halfway  through January and I am pleased that my small changes are also causing small changes in the rest of my family.  I have a few more changes planned in my head, but I don't want to weigh myself down with too much so I am still taking it day by day.  I know that these things may seem minuscule to some of you, but to me it is a HUGE step in the direction of the life I want!

Thoughts:

• it's okay if she doesn't nap right now, she will eventually
• I wish I could have gotten up on time to see the kids off to school, I hope they know I love them
• is it horribly irresponsible of me to take Bug out of school for 10 days for a vacation so soon after Christmas break?
• Nah, other parents are doing it too!
• I hope I have enough money for a hotel in Seattle
• I hope my husband knows I love him.
• HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!
• thank God for spell check!

I did it!

I am thinking that these new changes I am making needs a name...  I think - maybe -

"Positive Changes, One Day at a Time"

 So what - this is day 2?  I think so...

I think that taking this SAHM thing one day at a time and just trying to make the best of it will work for me.  And I'm not talking HUGE changes, so don't expect fireworks here, okay?  I'm talking about the small changes that will one day make up a HUGE Positive Change in my life.  I'm not setting any long term goals here.  I'm not giving myself any consequences either, and my only rewards are feeling better about myself and my life.

So anyways

I did it!!!

Last night, after the kids went to bed, I cleaned up the living room AND did the dishes (dishwasher and the hand wash dishes!).  I didn't vacuum the LR because 1) the vacuum was upstairs, 2) I didn't want to wake the baby because she was put to bed at 9pm and only cried for a minute!!!  Woo Hoo!!

It was all I could do not to come post this last night! I was really proud of myself!

There is one thing that I will have to fix about it though - no doing dishes in my jammies - my shirt got wet...

It did make the morning go a little smoother too!

Oh yeah, I did manage to get out of bed before the kids left for school too!  I was even able to get them to help with a couple chores before they left for the bus!

I had a little time to myself this morning before I woke May up at 8:15!  It was marvelous!

So, I will let the day go as it will.  I might bake, but probably not (I'm out of butter).  I will see hoe today goes and decide on my next positive change later.

Feel free to shoot me some ideas on making this SAHM thing go a little easier! 

Getting the hang of it

Since my last post I have had even MORE time to think...
Now that I have voiced my unhappiness about my less-than-stellar performance as a SAHM I have decided to try harder.  I mean, really, was I trying that hard to begin with? No!  Not really.
So I put my big girl panties on and got out of bed the next day and did the dishes.  Yesterday I did the dishes, baked cookies, played with my daughter and even made the bigger kids an after-school snack.  (OK - so not really, I made tuna & juice so they could have a sandwich and a drink with their cookies, but that's WAY more than I did before)
Today I actually woke up before the kids left for school, I didn't get out of bed, but I was up and said goodbye to them before they left.  Actually getting out of bed before them is tomorrows task!  I was, however, out of bed and making coffee and doing the dishes before Mike got home from PT.  I think he did a double take when he saw me.
I talked to my sister today too (during nap time).  She has obviously read my post because the first thing she asked was "you're bored aren't you?" *shoulder slump* "Yes. Yes I am."  Jealousy of her full house struck when I heard my Dad and Aunt and Uncle all talking in the background.  She assured me that it was okay to be on Pinterest & Facebook during nap time.  It is MY TIME.  We talked about cleaning schedules (I used to clean up during nap time, but she pointed out that she cleaned up before her husband got home from work because it was only going to get dirty again after nap). I think I am going to clean up when the bigger kids get home from school (which is about 30 minutes before Mike gets home from work - I found out he does not, in fact, get off work at 3 anymore, it's now 4), and again after everyone goes to bed.  It seems logical that waking up to a clean house would make the morning go smoother.  So that is tonight's trial task - to clean up the living room before I go to bed.  Wish me luck!
Today I also discovered that my son has been hoarding/hiding a childhood blanket since we moved from our one room cabin in AK.  I had no idea he still had it (that reminds me that I have to get it out of the dryer and up to the sewing table to mend a few tears).  The reason I mention this is because he has an issue with blankets and how I tend to get rid of them... it really is a short story for another time though.
I also discovered a fabulous recipe for a peanut butter cake. YUM!!!  I'll post about that later after I get the kids reviews!
So the recap for today's thoughts

• OMG - it's 645 - the kids really need to get a move on before they miss the bus and I have to get out of bed
• OMG -the dogs better shut the heck up before they wake up the baby and I have to get out of bed
• OMG - since the baby isn't up yet and the kids are gone I can  go downstairs and use the big computer instead of my phone - I mean, really, I'm not going back to sleep with those dogs whining like that
• OMG - she's already up!  I really thought I had at least 20 minutes for a cup of coffee
• Seriously? another day with no nap??  This DVD player in her room was a genius idea - at least I can have a little time to myself
• OMG - the movie is over and she's crying!  Doesn't this girl ever sleep???
• WHY IS SHE CRYING??  she's out of bed and watching cartoons - what more could she want?
• mmmmmmmmm peanut butter and sugar - what more could anyone want?
• Damn - it's almost 3 - I better get off the computer and finish laundry before everyone gets home

A lot of time to think

Let me preface this post by saying

stay at home moms rock!

I've "always" worked.  I say it that way because there have been some brief times where I did not work outside the home, and some times when I tried to be a SAHM.  To me though, I have worked more often than not.  A lot of that time was working for my parents & I could have my kids with me, or take off work whenever they had something special going on.  I have always fantasized the reality of being a SAHM.  I always thought it would be awesome.  My house would be clean, I would become a better cook, better mother, better wife, better everything - if only I could stay at home.

Though a series of _______ events - I am now a SAHM.  My house is not any cleaner, my kids are not any happier with me, neither is my husband... worst of all - I am not happy with myself.  Being a SAHM gives a lady a lot of time to think.  Here's a brief and painfully honest list of things I have thought:

• This house is a mess - I should clean it up during her nap (ha ha ha)
• OMG - WHY WON'T SHE TAKE A NAP???
•  good God, I can't wait 'til the kids come home so someone can take care of this screaming brat
• ahhh, 3 o'clock, someone should be home soon!
• it's 3:30 where the F&*% is everyone???
• ohhhhh, I see - you make the $$$ so it's okay for you to stroll in at 4:45 wanting to know what's for dinner - ha - jokes on you buddy - NOTHING cause I completely forgot to take out meat to thaw!
• Damn, I should have taken out something for dinner cause I am starving!

so, yeah.  I really don't think I am cut out to be a SAHM.  The idea of it is great!  I freaking love it, but the reality is not great.  I thought with the new year and all I would be able to turn over a new leaf and change my attitude.  Well, Mike is back to work, and the kids (finally) go back to work tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the true test!  Wish me luck!

On the upside - I am maintaining my weight loss because we do not have the money for tons of snacks on only one income.

ha ha ha ha - I'm laughing so hard I'm crying

Wait, no, I'm just crying...

Maybe it's just the full moon...